Optimistic, but realistic- Extreamly Depressed

In the chapters, Optimistic, but realistic- Extremely Depressed,  Oksar blows up at his mother for being happy and not grieving over his fathers death in a way he did not understand. I found this chapter a breaking point for him and his mother. They both finally opened up to each other and were completely honest about there feelings of the fathers death. I found it shocking when his mother said, "You remind me so much of your Dad." and Oskar's reaction was "If i could have chosen, i would have chosen you!" I would think that Oskar would take that as a compliment, not as an insult because he thought as his father to be such a great man.